Posted by ToyStory4
Like many of you I’m sure, I have a good friend, who happens to be a teddy bear. I’ll call him Steve, for the purposes of identify protection. Steve and I joined the family at the same time, just over a year ago, so we’re pretty close. He doesn’t say a lot – well anything actually – but he is good company and I’ve always felt I can trust him. Lately though, I’ve noticed a few things amiss and it’s making me question his loyalty.
Firstly, last week before bed I put him on the sofa, but when I woke up in the morning, he was in the toy box, helping himself to my cars. I’d been led to believe (by him I might add) that he couldn’t move on his own, so he’s lied to me for starters, and I’ve been carrying him around like a chump all this time, yet he’s never offered to return the favour. Then, the next day, when I was rifling through the bin as per, I noticed a flapjack wrapper, and when I turned around, there was Steve – with CRUMBS around his mouth – smiling! When I say smiling, it was just his usual vacant look I suppose, and I do sometimes use his face as a towel which could explain the food residue, but he was definitely being a stupid smug head. When I asked my dad about it – by pointing at the wrapper and howling – he just said I’d already had one today and offered me a rice cake (WTF are they about by the way?). So, apart from missing the point again, his dismissal of my outrage seemed very convenient – is he in on it too?
The last straw came today, when I crawled back in my room to attend to some business and saw Bo-Bo, I mean Steve, lying in MY cot. Asleep! I kicked off big time at this, as he had obviously really overstepped the mark. I’m now feeling like maybe all this time, Steve has been double crossing me, pretending he is something he’s not. It might sound a bit conspiracy theorist but what if he’s trying to take over my life? Sometimes I catch him watching me when I’m playing with another toy, and it’s starting to make me feel nervous. Is he goldilocks, disguised as a bear? Has anyone else experienced this? How did you handle it?
SophieSucks: YABU. You should think yourself lucky for having a teddy. Some people ( like ME) are given nothing but a crappy giraffe as a buddy. Admittedly, it’s quite nice to chew on but that’s beside the point. If I had a Steve, I’d treasure and appreciate him and he’d be welcome to my flapjack. Welcome I tell you.
CarrotBoy: Woah – has somebody been at the Calpol? YABU without a doubt – relax baby – and maybe lay off the sugary snacks, too; rice cakes aren’t so bad.
StuckInTheMiddle: What a drama queen! Some of us have far bigger fish to fry you know, at least Steve is limited in what he can do. Try living with siblings – nothing is sacred then – not toys, nor flapjacks, nor sleep surfaces, nor parents. In comparison to me, you are living the dream, pal.
HorrorFan: I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. This sounds like the tip of a very dangerous iceberg to me. I once knew a kid in your situation, and let’s just say, if she’d put her foot down earlier, she might not be living in the shadow of her ragdoll today. This town / cot ain’t big enough for the both of you – you have been warned.
ToyStory4: Sorry if I offended anyone and some of you clearly do have major issues, but that doesn’t alter my concerns for the very real problem I’m facing. I will do some reflecting and come back to this. I just have to hope Steve doesn’t hack into my account while I’m napping and find this before I can concoct a plan…
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