Parents: Why I’m Awake

Home / Parents: Why I’m Awake - May 18, 2015 , by yvettelamb

Parents, please know I do appreciate your frustration when I do not sleep, be it at nap time, bed time or middle-of-the-night time (your personal favourite I believe). I understand that me being awake means you being awake and that when you have fed me, changed me and soothed me, you expect me to drift into a peaceful slumber.

I can see that in theory, when the room temperature is just so, the blinds are drawn and the appropriate gaps between naps have been reached; I should happily nod off.


However, as we are both aware, this often isn’t how it goes down. And you, I am guessing, want to know why.

So – here’s a whole bunch of reasons – pick your favourite.

1. I’m thinking of something funny that happened earlier
2. I can’t get Baa Baa Black Sheep out of my head
3. I was drifting off but a slight irregularity in your breathing threw me off kilter
4. I’m counting the ways I’m more important than everyone else
5. You have a bad singing voice
6. I thought I needed to sneeze… I didn’t though
7. I can’t decide what to dream about
8. You put me down drowsy but awake. Idiot
9. I can smell onions
10. The lyrics to this Rock-a-Bye Baby warble are seriously sinister. Nightmare anyone?
11. Someone is making a loud shrill sound (it may be me)
12. Your arm is shaking slightly – almost like rocking is in some way uncomfortable?
13. Your desperation is palpable and putting me off
14. Ditto your irritation which I can sense growing
15. I may need a poo. Wait… false alarm (was just a big fart)
16. I’m suspicious that Bear is trying to take over my life
17. Come to think of it, I’m not entirely trustful of the cot mobile, either
18. I don’t need winding, but I’m thinking of that huge burp I did earlier – you know the one – and I’d like it recreated please
19. Your stomach just rumbled
20. I don’t like the pattern on my sleeping bag
21. I think I would settle better with Daddy (If I’m already with Daddy, then I would settle better with Mummy)
22. Regarding that tune you sang earlier, how would one actually know they were happy – particularly enough to clap their hands?
23. I’ve heard from a reliable source that sleep is for losers
24. I’m enjoying your company
25. There is so much to do in this life, I just want to go out and live it!
26. I’m wondering why you pay all that money for baby yoga when 75% of it is spent feeding or shushing me
27. I’m wishing I could wag my tail, and also that I had a tail
28. I’m savouring the moment, you should try it sometime
29. I’m not actually sure I’m tired. I’ll decide for definite after some more milk, yes?
30. I’ve had so much fun I don’t want the day to end. Or, I’m just being awkward.

Feel better now..? No..? Sheesh… I thought knowledge was power? Well damn and blast it but at least I tried.

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10 thoughts on “Parents: Why I’m Awake”

  1. Hee hee! This made me laugh. I would love to know what is going on in their little minds sometimes x

  2. Yvette Lamb says:

    Thanks Cathryn! I know I would LOVE to know what some of his facial expressions meant as a baby – I’m quite sure he judges me a lot 😉

  3. Liz says:

    Oh my goodness, I’m laughing like a madwoman and the tears are streaming down my face. Thank you for brightening up my day enormously!

    And I just know that every single one of those reasons is absolutely true.

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thanks so much Liz! True – maybe, useful – definitely not!

  4. This is brilliant!

    My seven-week-old did her best night’s sleep last night. Cue me trying to desperately recreate the EXACT same conditions in the hope of a repeat performance. She’s probably laughing at me!

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thank you! Oh I used to do exactly the same! He had a bath and slept? Do that again! He didn’t have a bath and slept? No, do that then, etc. etc..! It’s such guess work knowing what will work and why but we do it because we are DESPERATE. hope the good nights have continued!

  5. Haha I needed that after the past few nights of fighting to get Indiana to sleep. I really wish I knew what was going on in their little minds xx

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      I know, they are such mysteries. I hope the sleep battles have eased now, it can’t be what you need when pregnant. Wishing you all some rest!

  6. LOL… these are funny. Next time if i am frustrated after a long struggle to put my LO to sleep I will think of your post. It will bring a smile on my face for sure.

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      thanks so much! Although these reasons are completely unhelpful, at least we can smile through our tired tears!!

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