I can no longer ignore the glaringly obvious truth that things have got a bit out of hand with the old baby brain. Particularly now that the baby is 22 months old – is it really meant to last this long?
On Friday, my husband and I chatted about the eclipse before he left for work. I had my colander and paper at the ready and was all prepped to turn my back to the sun and witness something amazing. I headed upstairs with the gremlin child to get ready and undertook:
2 x teeth brushing
1 x nappy change
3 x bouncing on the bed
3 x bouncing on the bed whilst holding a giant bear
2 x getting half-dressed
2 x book reading whilst half-dressed due to emergency need to ‘rumpeta rumpeta’ with ‘The Elephant and The Bad Baby.’
4 x asking toddler not to throw his stickle bricks down the stairs
2 x waiting out a tantrum because of stickle brick throwing ban
2 x finishing getting dressed after spending 8 minutes locating a matching pair of socks for us both
1 x hair straightening
All in all, a pretty standard half an hour. As I was doing this last task, stood at the mirror by the window, I noticed how dark it had become. I then also noticed a few neighbours out on the street, looking at something. I turned this piece of information over in my nosey head to find a conclusion before thinking it was bin day and that it would be most exciting if we managed to catch sight of the lorry and they flashed their lights again (not a euphemism).
So off we trotted back downstairs, me nearly breaking my neck on a stickle brick, where I happily noted the sun streaming through the window. Aha, so it’s not a dull day, after all thought I – maybe I’ll rethink the toddler’s knitwear.
Yes, my life is this boring.
And then… THEN I remembered. When remembering was of no use whatsoever, then it all came flooding back. Ten minutes and eleven years too late.
I’d missed the ruddy eclipse.
Does anyone else have this problem? It seems my memory was disposed of along with the placenta all that time ago, and instead of coming back to me now my son is older and I’m (on the whole) getting more sleep, it is moving further out of my reach.
Today really highlighted the problem, as it’s quite obviously rather stupid to not join the dots of,
‘It’s getting dark and people are outside’
’45 minutes ago I was talking about the eclipse.’
But stuff like this happens to me all the time.
I constantly forget to call people back, reply to texts, purchase the single item I went shopping for, respond to emails, and even sometimes whole conversations I’ve allegedly had.
My husband may or may not use the last one to tell me it’s because I don’t listen to him, but I really do when it’s something interesting.
And then there’s the one that is so bad I’m almost proud of: the time I went out solely to buy petrol and came home without it.
I’m so absentminded, forgetful and easily confused these days it could actually seriously worry me – if I had the capacity to remember how much I forget.
In recent months, since baby became toddler, and began eating up everything I say then attempting to repeat back (there really is nothing sweeter than Alalababoo for I love you, or more embarrassing than a clear-as-a-bell WILLY yell in the post office), I am really feeling the pressure to pull myself together and, you know, remember stuff. To be able to recall names instead of baptising objects and people as ‘thingy’ and not have to double check the difference between dinosaurs and dragons.
Although with that one, it’s been a long time since I’ve been tested and who doesn’t get confused with monster type, two-syllable ‘D’ words. I’m not alone here, right?
Educating and imparting basic language and information to my offspring is, it would seem to me, both a normal and hugely daunting task.
I barely scraped through the dogs Vs puppies, cats Vs kittens and rabbits Vs bunnies teaching debacle of the baby days – really – do they have to make it so confusing? Yes I’m talking to you, ‘That’s Not My…’ series.
On a reassuring note, I am fine with naming trees, grass, cars, vans and bikes – that’s all groovy. I basically rock at pointing out basic vegetation and vehicles, if I do say so myself.
But then, it suddenly all gets a bit more complicated. Like: is a lorry and a truck the same thing? What’s the difference between a digger and a bulldozer? And will not knowing the above stunt his social development?
Then there’s the stuff I do remember, which is now outdated, incorrect and make me feel old. Back to the bin lorry:
‘Look!’ I tried on our first spot, ‘It’s the bin men! I mean bin people? Or refuse operative? Can you say refuse operative, darling?’
I know, I’m a mess. A disappointing mess.
His thirst for identifying every single thing he sees has maybe just increased my awareness of the stuff I don’t know – or did know but have had to eject from my mind in favour of knowing various nappy brand effectiveness, worrying about a multitude of baby related things (per week) and re-learning the lyrics to a billion creepy nursery rhymes.
But, it could be worse. After my massive fail at eclipse witnessing, I did at least get to write a self-deprecating status about it on Facebook – a silver lining if ever there was one – as I always struggle to find something witty to say about my life in short, snappy form.
Then it was time to get on with our day and attend shaky shaky boogie class (as we like to call it), which I DID remember to take him to. I even know most of the words warbled there – a good example of how my memory works perfectly for everything unimportant in life.
But, I also remember my little boy’s favourite foods, his most loved programmes and books, how to make him laugh hysterically and I ALWAYS remember bed time. So if I forget to change the odd nappy, pay a few bills, attend every appointment, and of course about one of the world’s greatest phenomena’s; I guess there are worse things in life.
Anyway, it’s true to say that memory improves with age, yes? So I’ll be all set when 2026 rolls around; and definitely won’t have slipped so far into mind-blankness that I don’t even remember what an eclipse is.
Or a colander.
Did you enjoy the eclipse? Feel free to tell me what I missed – or alternately your massive failings on the memory front – below or over on Facebook!
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