I hear a lot of stuff about the baby days, a lot about the terrible two’s and a lot about 4-year-olds and the huge milestone of starting school. Right now though, I’m bathing knee deep in 3-year-old lunacy, which I actually don’t hear much about at all.
My son Just. Doesn’t. Stop.
Age 3 seems to be an explosion of imagination, conversation, learning SO much, and the blossoming of both awesome and frankly quite frightening personality traits. It’s a time to savour the happy chaos – in between shouting, ‘Get to bed!’ And, ‘Stop picking your nose!’ – and a time to worry if we’re doing what we should to help him not become a psychopath.
I wish I could bottle his batsh*t antics and hilarity, to save for a future day when he is big, less talkative and probably slightly smelly. I know I’ll miss hearing the thoughts that tumble freely from his brain, the way he wants to tell me EVERYTHING and the fact that he actually cares about what I think.
I can’t though, sadly. But what I can do is utilise this time when he is actually vaguely interested in what I say, to teach him a few things he has yet got to grips with. I’m sure he will be grateful for it… deep down… while ignoring me completely.
1) You don’t have to talk for every second that you are awake. Comfortable silence is MORE than acceptable. Particularly when either of us is in the toilet
2) The response to everything I say does not have to be ‘why?’
3) You can’t always get everything you want exactly when you want it. Because that’s not… you just… life isn’t like… STOP ASKING ME WHY!
4) The definition of sharing is not demanding over half of everything I eat while refusing to let your brother even look at one of your toys
5) Sitting on my knee and immediately farting is not cool. (But is admittedly funny)
6) You are not the boss of the world. I know, it stings. Soz
7) 530 AM is the stupidest of times to start the day, so please stop it
8) In many parts of the world, people eat things other than processed wheat, and vegetables are trusted friends
9) There will come a time when dancing during dinner and singing on the toilet is no longer a typical part of your day. But hold off on this as long as you can, because it’s actually quite lovely
10) Sometimes Mummy needs two minutes to re-gather energy reserves because you are a teeny bit relentless. So less of the judgment next time you catch me hiding behind the cupboard door in the kitchen with biscuit crumbs around my mouth
11) Occasionally your daddy and I want or need to have a conversation that doesn’t revolve around you. Climbing on our heads and chanting the Paw Patrol theme song during doesn’t really help
12) It will not always be deemed appropriate to enjoy an in depth chat about wee, poo and bottoms. And I agree, the world is a slightly sadder place for it
13) “Because I don’t” is not a valid reason for refusing to even try the dinner you loved last week and actually REQUESTED today
14) The rules of soft play can be applied throughout your life: Don’t push in, no kicking and if you spot something wet and sticky in the ball pit, you’d be wise not to touch it
15) There’s this thing, called time, which we are rarely on. So please, for the love of everything sacred and true, could you put your fricking shoes on when I ask you to?
16) Nothing bad will happen if you use a hand dryer
17) You should always hold on to your spirited nature – it’s a big part of what makes you wonderful. Except for when I need or want you to do as I say. Yep, life is full of contradictions
18) It is nice to be cool. But it is better to be kind
19) Your cuddles are literally one of the best things in my life and I will never tire of them. Accepting the high risk of bum burps an’ all
20) You still need to put your shoes ON.
Any other lessons my or your small might benefit from? Let me know in the comments and feel free to share with others – cheers!