Totsnet – Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU)

Home / Totsnet – Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU) - March 14, 2015 , by yvettelamb

If babies and toddlers used online forums, we might find them wrestling with some pretty meaty issues…

With my yellow cup?

Posted by TracyBeaker

I have a yellow beaker that I have been using for about a year now. My parents fill it with water, they give it to me, I drink it. All very easy. However, I have recently decided that on Tuesday afternoons, every other Friday and any time it rains, I do NOT want to use the yellow beaker. In fact, I don’t even want to see it. I find it deeply troubling to have it in my view at all and if it’s used as a means of offering thirst relief, I have no choice but to scream, stamp my feet and yell incomprehensible words for several minutes, until I am given another cup. But not a blue one – unless it is cloudy and a Saturday – or I will be even more wee’d off.

I know I am not being unreasonable about this in itself, obviously, but my issue is that my parents seem to struggle to understand the simple rules of cup-giving, and make me feel like I’m being difficult. TBH, it’s not so much about the cup itself – more what it represents – that they just aren’t listening to me. Would I be unreasonable therefore to remind them how easy they’ve got it by mixing things up a bit and applying the same rules to my bowls as well? When I say the same rules, I of course mean different randomised ones. WWYD?


About the shoe incident?

Posted by BareFootCheek

Today, my dad was taking me to the park and we were both really looking forward to it, until the time came to leave the house. He helped me put my coat on, but then went really weird and awkward when I threw my shoes back at him and screamed “NO!” as he tried to place them on my feet. He did such a dramatic sigh and though he remained calm, I could tell I was irritating him – I just don’t know why. He then told me that if I wanted to go to the park, I had to wear my shoes – if not we were staying at home. THEN he said ‘So what do you want to do, buddy?’

Well, firstly, father, I’m not your buddy, I’m your son; I find your tone patronising and your words manipulative. Talk about passive aggressive! Secondly, how am I meant to decide what to do – I’m 22 months old FFS! Come to me with a solution, not a problem!

I’m really upset by this; I feel he’s soured the whole afternoon with his demands. We did eventually get to the park, but only because I compromised and agreed to wear wellies. I’m getting tired of compromising so much though – surely the blame for this fracas lies at his feet (no pun intended). AIBU?

To Complain to Health Visitor?

Posted by RockYourBaby

First time poster here, hoping you can help. I’m 9 months old and until recently, things had been ticking along nicely between my parents and me. I have established a really healthy sleep pattern, where I’m given milk every night which sends me to sleep, then I wake every 2 hours, on the clock for either more milk or to be rocked back to sleep. It’s going really well and I’m proud of the effort I put in to establish a routine that works so well. My parents though, seem to want to make changes, and I feel like they’re moving the goalposts 🙁

Last night, I had my milk then they WOKE ME UP when I nodded off near the end, put me in my cot AWAKE, and did some weird patting thing while they shushed me. WTF is that? There were a couple of points where I did begin to feel quite drowsy, and my cot was warm and comfortable, but I felt that if I drifted off without being rocked, would they then always expect me to fall asleep there? It just seemed too risky, so I screamed as loud as I could whilst reciting Mr Tumble’s Hello Song in my head to avoid nodding off until… they rocked me. Bingo!

My question is though; AIBU to tell on them? I don’t want to get them in trouble as such, but wouldn’t it be for their own good if an expert discouraged them from this behaviour? Otherwise, I have a feeling they might try it again, they seemed pretty determined (until I broke their spirit). If so, does anyone know the best way to get in touch with my Health Visitor? I’ve been to the clinic a few times but it seems an awfully long way to commando crawl. Any advice appreciated.

About broccoli?

Posted by HungerGames

So my mum made me dinner just now, as per. However, when she served it, some of the broccoli was touching the pasta so naturally, I went batpoo. I was so angry I admit I couldn’t really see straight, but the next thing I knew, she separated them – like it’s that simple –  and asked me to still eat it. I was almost lost for words! Not to drip feed, I don’t currently eat broccoli anyway, because I’m rocking the suspicious phase, so you can see the major issue this created. My mum seemed to think though, that as pasta and cheese is my favourite meal of all time, and because the broccoli only touched one twirl, she could avert disaster fairly easily and I could move past what had happened. Ha! As if, lady.

So, as far as I could see, the only fair thing to do was make me a peanut butter sandwich and scrap the meal she had cooked, but she said no. So my question is – was I unreasonable to throw the dinner on the floor, scream in her face and shout that I’m hungry for 23 minutes? I do wonder if I’m being oversensitive but at the same time I don’t want to encourage her to get into bad habits at meal times. I don’t have long as have just snuck onto the laptop while she is in the loo, crying. What should my next move be?

To have made a break for it?

Posted by PrisonerCellBlockH

Could really do with an outside perspective on this please. Last night, my mum put me to bed in my cot – I’m 2 years old by the way, not 2 months – just to provide context. After she left, I was talking to my mouse for a bit and unwinding by bashing the cot bars with my foot, when I realised, actually, I wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet, but I DID want to play with the toys in my room. I didn’t want to scream for my mum, as I knew she’d had a busy day at work and I heard her telling nursery about a bottle of wine with her name on it. So, I took some initiative, and climbed out of the cot myself. Now I admit, as I hadn’t done this before, it perhaps didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped and I sort of… maybe… ended up hanging upside down with one leg stuck in the bar, and yes, I did scream then – for Mum or for God – I really didn’t care who, I just needed help, pronto. Mum arrived and straightened things out immediately, she’s pretty good at getting me out of scrapes. But after she had cuddled and calmed me down, she told me off, which made me feel 🙁 I was only trying to help by not disturbing her and I feel like she didn’t even take a moment to appreciate this.

Now, she’s put me back in sleeping bags, so I can’t even perfect my climbing skills, which everyone knows are essential for monkey imitations and general life skills. AIBU to think she should trust me a bit more, and stop treating me like a baby?

So Totsnet jury – what do you think? Let ‘em have it: are they well within their rights, a touch oversensitive or outright unreasonable?

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33 thoughts on “Totsnet – Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU)”

  1. katec1978 says:

    LOVE this – great post! And yes they are all being completely unreasonable… but that’s why we love them isn’t it?! x

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thank you! Very true – they are most unreasonable – but charming to boot!

  2. Mags says:

    Haha, these toddlers are so convincing, they make excellent arguments! Another fantastic piece x

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thanks Mags! Yes, they certainly seem very self-assured in their actions 😉

  3. Fionnuala says:

    This is simply brilliant.

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Ah, thank you so much – my inner toddler got the better of me!

  4. Totally inspired post! SO true.

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thank you! Funny how many smalls have these issues in common!

  5. Laura says:


    I wonder what the replies from other toddlers would be. Would they bicker as much as some mums do in these online forums?

    Great post x

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Ha – I was thinking exactly the same. If my son carries on as he is, this might turn in to a regular feature – scrappy replies an’ all 😉
      Thank you x

  6. OMG this post is bloody amazing!

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Ah thank you! Not based on real-life experience at all of course 🙂

  7. Emily-Jane says:

    Finally finished reading this. Toddler distractions.. brilliantly hilarious. I wish there was a totsnet…

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thanks Emily-Jane! Ahh, yes me too – it would be very entertaining / reassuring / hilarious / depressing!

  8. fanbloddytastic! Had me in stitches. My youngest turns one on friday (sob). I will bookmark this one for when he enters toddler-hood and I need to regain my sanity! xxxx

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thank you! Ahh Happy Birthday to your little one for Friday – and good luck through the unreasonable years! 😉 x

  9. Lisa says:

    I love this! It’s spot on and so funny, really made me laugh – thank you!

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Ah thanks Lisa! Luckily (?) I was helpfully given a lot of material to work with!

  10. Fionnuala says:

    Brilliant. Just brilliant. I read this at the weekend and haven’t stopped telling people about it since. Well done!

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Ah thanks so much and for letting people know too! Unreasonable toddlers are entertaining (reading about them more than dealing with them that is!)

  11. briony says:

    Oh god. Just woke the toddler up from his nap by laughing too loudly. So funny

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thanks but Oh No! Have given myself a slap for indirectly disturbing a nap 🙂

  12. Oh God could you imagine! We would never have our ipads back. By the way I am stealing the word batpoo and using it all the time : ) x

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Ha! That’s true, and I already struggle to get a look in on my phone sometimes with toddler YouTube addiction. I found him perusing Twitter yesterday! Glad you like batpoo – the ‘bad’ version just seemed wrong for this!

  13. Louise says:

    Lol this is brilliant – would have loved to see some of the replies from the other toddlers on Totsnet! Such a great glimpse into the mind of a toddler 🙂

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thanks Louise! I nearly did replies but it got too complex (bitchy toddlers 😉 ) Think I’m going to do one a week though as a feature thingy with replies, if I can work it all out. Make use of all this material from my son!

  14. Haha so funny, I love life from a todlers perspective x

  15. Thanks so much for linking hun 🙂 #FridayFrolics

  16. Brill post! FFS- what are these parents thinking? They want some time to themselves? They’re not up for waking every 2 hours or less? They don’t condone crib climbing? Jeez-o, what’s the world coming to?

  17. Rhiannon says:

    This is hilarious! My daughter is only six months old so I can only directly relate to “To complain to Health Visitor?”, I could barely read it out to my husband as I was laughing too much! But the rest are a brilliant insight into the near future!

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