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Why Children Need a Stint at Charm School

12234959_517196328462443_2337231468106979646_nAlthough it’s wonderful to have my toddler at an age where he can communicate with me, I’ve started to notice a significant downside to it, in the form of Brutal Honesty. I mean, how long does it take for kids to realise they don’t have to tell the truth about everything? (Confusing and potentially slippery slope, I realise.)

In the last couple of months, he has pointed out that my bum is wobbly, my hair is, “Fluffy… like a dog,” and that I am not a lady. When I ask him what I am, he responds, “Hmmm, can’t remember what you is.” Although I could hazard a guess, based on his loud proclamation that, “Mummy has her willy out,” in the supermarket toilets last week.

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6IZ1x858hF70TwhjeNCaPUCf9ODfbNH4Ato5690SUW0Despite whisking their contestants by private jet to beautiful Australia and paying them bags of gold, I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here is widely considered one of the tougher reality gigs for our good old celebs. As well as the usual fights, dramas and bids for attention that are rife in reality shows, these lot also have to contend with showering on camera, sleeping amongst scary animals (no I absolutely don’t mean John Lydon), and gorging on creepy crawlies.We’d never get that from Gregg Wallace on Celebrity MasterChef – at least not so far, anyway. (Should I patent the idea in case?)

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Hangover + Small Children

hangover1Things That Work Together

Gin + Tonic = A Relaxed Fizzy Sigh

Friends + Cocktails = Laughing & Fun & Inevitably… Behaving Like a Bit of a Loser

2 AM + Chip shop = Unhealthy, Unnecessary and Quite a Frightening Sight But Essential Nonetheless*


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All of This…is Motherhood

#ismotherhoodIt is early rising and midnight waking, it is wiping noses… and bums. It is the park all year round; it is play dough, sand and crayons. It is travelling heavy and never ‘nipping out’; it is laughter – so much laughter.

It is a shift in your relationship, it is rare evenings out, it is talking in yawns and gestures. It is discussing nappy rash, weaning and sippy cups – with gusto. It is toys in the living room, a prayer for more sleep, it is different than expected and more than you hoped.

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About my yellow cup?
Posted by TracyBeaker
I have a yellow beaker that I have been using for about a year now. My parents fill it with water, they give it to me, I drink it. All very easy. However, I have recently decided that on Tuesday afternoons, every other Friday and any time it rains, I do NOT want to use the yellow beaker. In fact, I don’t even want to see it. I find it deeply troubling to have it in my view at all and if it’s used as a means of offering thirst relief, I have no choice but to scream, stamp my feet and yell incomprehensible words for several minutes, until…

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Dos and Don’ts For A Child Free Weekend

child free weekend
I recently enjoyed a weekend away sans my one-year-old son. When I say enjoyed, I of course missed my little boy a lot, but absolutely, totally made the most of having some time for me and a catch up with a good friend. It would have been a waste of everyone’s time and money if I’d spent the whole weekend pining. However, as a novice in the arena of child free mini-breaks, there are a few things I wish I had known before. So I’ve made this handy little tip sheet for anyone planning or pondering a weekend away, and also for next time I dabble in a mini escape. Not that I’ve thought about going away again so soon after my return.

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The Ten Commandments of Soft Play

soft play

Never mind Terms of Play, these are the real rules of engagement – for the parents at least.

1. Thou shall inevitably look after someone else’s children.

I make no secret of it, my purpose in going to this bouncy wonderland is to play with (and protect) my one year old. But I always, always, ALWAYS end up with at least one other child attached to me. Duties can include but not be limited to – encouragement and clapping, watching them swing, jump and leap (by order of ‘watch me, watch me’), assist up, down, over and under slides, help into ball pits, help out of ball pits and rescue from frankly terrifying ‘bridge of net’.

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